How I Discovered Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Why I Love It.

My journey into the world of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) began over 15 years ago. Back in 2006, I started training to become a counsellor, hoping to heal my own issues along the way. I grew up in a family where everything seemed to rotate around my mum’s moods. Everything had to be about her, and I often felt like I was walking on eggshells, never knowing what might set her off. It left me feeling like I just didn’t matter to her. As a result, I grew up to be an anxious, quiet child, always trying to keep out of her way.

I couldn’t wait to leave home; I thought I was finally free. I met a man who I thought would be able to give me the love that I hadn’t received from my mum, only to find myself in another emotionally suffocating relationship. It was like falling out of the fire and into the frying pan. I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship. My husband, when he showed his true colours, seemed even more angry and aggressive than my mum. He would be so angry at me even when it was out of my control. For instance, I was on a train coming home from London one evening, and the train ended up being several hours late. He picked me up from the station and was incredibly angry with me—yet really, there was nothing I could have done; we didn’t have mobile phones back then. In those six years of marriage, I felt more isolated and small than ever before. His anger crushed my sense of self, leaving me terrified to make even the smallest mistake.

After six years, I knew I couldn’t stay with him any more, and although I didn’t know how I would ever have the confidence to leave, I started to secretly pack so that one day when I could do it, I would be ready. That day eventually came, and with the help of my dad sitting outside in the car to help me feel protected, I managed to leave him, and my growth journey began.

Growing up, my family didn’t talk about emotions. We buried everything under the surface, never fully addressing what was really going on. When I learned that, in order to complete the qualification, we all had to attend 30 hours of personal counselling, I thought, "I can do this without breaking the family rule.”

At that time, trauma and the nervous system weren’t as well understood as they are today. When I was triggered in those sessions, I often entered a freeze response, feeling unable to move forward. My brain simply couldn’t process the emotions from that place, and it left me convinced that I was stupid and couldn’t work out the answers.

Pausing and Searching for Answers

Even after completing my training, I felt too fearful to set up my own private practice. The fear of failure loomed large, so instead, I continued to volunteer for a few more years. But eventually, I stopped altogether. During this time, I took a long break, but I never stopped searching for answers. I read self-help books, counselling books, and anything I thought might help me heal, but nothing quite hit the spot.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) aka tapping

Then, one day, a friend of mine, Jo, suggested I look into Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). I had never heard of it before, and initially thought it sounded a bit odd—how on earth could that help me? However, I looked into it and was curious enough to sign up for a course. From the very first session, I was absolutely hooked.

Finding Emotional Freedom

For the first time in my life, I felt something shift inside me. EFT wasn’t like anything I had tried before. It wasn’t just about talking or digging up old emotions—it was about releasing them in a way that felt safe and healing.

I felt hopeful, truly hopeful, that I could finally work through my stuff and find emotional freedom. EFT gave me the tools I needed to process years of buried emotions without feeling stuck or overwhelmed. I finally had this sense of safety and boundaries that allowed me to find my voice, speak up for myself, voice my needs, and say no if I chose to. This was such a relief. To know that my needs count too was such a powerful shift in my beliefs.

Now I can feel the difference as I live my life. I am able to speak in public without physically shaking, I have grown my business, and I face my fears with intrigue rather than the freeze response.

To hear more about my journey and insights on EFT, check out my interview on the Good Enough Counsellors podcast with Josephine Hughes. Click on the image to listen.

Tapping Through the Layers: Why EFT Tapping Isn’t a Quick Fix, But It Works

Do you ever feel anxious about certain tasks, even if you’ve done them before? Maybe it’s something like paying the bills, filling in forms, or just keeping up with life admin. I know that feeling all too well.

Today, I finally posted all my paperwork to the accountant for our tax returns. I always put it off because my stomach churns just thinking about it. But as I was preparing it all, I started tapping—on the physical sensations, the tightness in my stomach, and the worried chatter in my mind.

Fears like, “What if I’ve forgotten something and get in trouble?” would pop up. I recognised that this wasn’t just about the tax return. It reminded me of being little Katie, back in school, worrying about getting told off.

When I was younger, my Dad was part of the School Governors, and one day the Head Teacher asked me to give him an envelope.

Well, I completely forgot, and the Head wasn’t happy. He was tall, with scrunched-up eyebrows, and it left a big impression on me.

In one of my EFT sessions, I tapped through that memory, releasing the fear of getting told off that I had held onto.

Yet, as I tackled the tax return, I realised there’s still more to clear. And that’s okay. Healing is a process—it’s like being a detective, finding all the hidden beliefs we carry. It’s a journey, not a one-time fix.

EFT and Public Speaking: A Success Story

On the flip side, there’s an area where EFT has really helped me—public speaking. Earlier this month, I did a 40-minute tapping demonstration in front of around 25 lovely women.

Beforehand, one of them asked if I was nervous, and I honestly wasn’t. A few years ago, I would have been! I’d have been shaking at the thought of standing up in front of a group. But I’ve done so much tapping on this that my body felt calm, and I could actually enjoy the experience.

That’s what I love about EFT. When we work on the core beliefs behind our fears, we can genuinely transform how we feel and react. Public speaking no longer makes me feel anxious because I’ve worked through all the layers that used to hold me back.

Have You Tried EFT tapping?

You might be thinking, “But I’ve tried tapping, and it didn’t work for me.” I get it.

The truth is, it’s not that EFT doesn’t work—it’s just that you might not have tapped on all the layers yet. Think of it like peeling an onion. Each time you tap, you’re getting closer to the core belief that’s holding you back.

For me, with tax returns, I still have a few more layers to go. But when it comes to public speaking, I’ve cleared all those limiting beliefs.

And here’s the thing—it’s okay if it takes time. My emotional rucksack has been filling up for decades, so it’s going to take time to unpack it. The key is persistence.

If you still feel something after tapping, it just means there’s more to clear, and that’s part of the process. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is emotional healing.

So, if you’re ready to start unpacking your own emotional rucksack, I’d love to help. Why not book a free EFT taster session with me and see how we can start peeling back those layers together?

Arrange an EFT Taster Session

Why Consistent Self-Care Matters: Learning from a Vineyard’s Early Warning System

During a recent visit to a vineyard, I came across something that taught me a valuable lesson about self-care. At the end of each row of grapevines, there were rose bushes. Curious, I asked about their purpose and learned something that can help us all take better care of ourselves.

The Roses and Vines: A Metaphor for Self-Care

The vineyard guide explained that the roses act as early warning signs for the grapevines. Since roses are more sensitive to diseases, they show signs of trouble before the grapevines do. This allows the farmers to take action and protect the vines before the problem spreads.

This got me thinking—our bodies also give us early signs when we need to take better care of ourselves. But many of us ignore these signs until we feel completely overwhelmed or exhausted.

Why Consistent Self-Care Is More Important Than You Think

Don’t Wait for Burnout: Start Caring for Yourself Today

Life is unpredictable. We never know what challenges might come our way. It’s easier to face those challenges when we’ve been regularly taking care of ourselves. Self-care isn’t just something you do when you’re feeling stressed—it’s something you should do consistently to maintain balance and health.

When we practice self-care on a regular basis, it’s like keeping our energy tank full. That way, when tough times come, we have the strength and calm to face them.

How to Recognise Your Body’s Early Warning Signs

Learn to Listen to Your Own “Roses”

Just like the roses in the vineyard, our bodies are constantly giving us clues about what they need. Do we ignore when we are hungry and then wonder why we’ve become snappy? Do we notice tension in our shoulders but push through it anyway?

The key is to notice these signs early, before stress or exhaustion takes over. For me, when I feel tension in my neck and shoulders, or I get a headache, I know my body is saying, "Slow down and take a break." These are my personal “early warning signs.”

Here are a few other common signs that your body might be asking for self-care:

• Irritability: Feeling more frustrated or short-tempered than usual can be a sign of emotional exhaustion.

• Constant Fatigue: Feeling tired all the time, even after sleep, could mean you need more rest or recovery.

• Stomach Issues: Stress often affects digestion. Pay attention if you notice discomfort or changes in appetite.

• Difficulty Focusing: If you’re struggling to concentrate, it could be your mind’s way of telling you it’s overwhelmed.

How to Practice Consistent Self-Care Every Day

Simple Self-Care Habits for a Balanced Life

The key to self-care is consistency. It's important to find something that works for you, as we are all different. Here are some simple ways to incorporate self-care into your daily routine:

• Check In with Yourself Daily: Take a few moments each day to ask yourself how you’re feeling, both physically and emotionally. Are there any early signs that you need more rest or care? Observe with kindness and compassion. What can you do for yourself—however small?

• Create Small, Meaningful Rituals: Self-care doesn’t have to be time-consuming. Little things like a five-minute stretch in the morning, a short walk, or a quiet cup of tea can help you stay grounded. One thing I’ve learned is not to overcomplicate it, as you’re then less likely to do it. Keep it simple and easy.

• Prioritise Sleep: Good sleep is one of the most important parts of self-care. Make sure you're getting enough rest and sleeping well. If you’re struggling, gently ask yourself, "What’s going on for me here? What’s stopping me from sleeping well?"

• Move Your Body: Gentle movement like yoga, stretching, or walking can help release tension and refresh your energy. As an added bonus, a walk outside in nature will support your nervous system and help you feel more grounded.

• Set Healthy Boundaries: Learning to say “no” when you need to is a powerful form of self-care. Protect your time and energy by setting boundaries that prioritise your well-being.

  
  

Facing Life’s Challenges with Calm and Balance

The Benefits of Regular Self-Care for a Graceful Life

When we practice self-care regularly, we build up our resilience. Like the roses that protect the vineyard, our early warning signs help us stay balanced and healthy. By listening to our bodies and caring for ourselves consistently, we can face life’s challenges with more calm and strength.

Ready to Explore Deeper Self-Care?

If you’re noticing that you’re trying to stay calm but keep getting triggered, and want to explore the root of this, I can support you with 1-1 EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) coaching sessions.

EFT, also known as tapping, is a mind-body technique that combines elements of Chinese acupuncture (without needles) and psychology to help reduce stress, anxiety, and emotional blocks.

If you’d like to see how this could work for you, book a free EFT taster session with me. We can chat about your personal challenges, and you can experience EFT for yourself to see if it’s something you’d like to explore more deeply.

Book a FREE EFT Taster Session HERE