Are You Shining Your Light This Christmas?

I’ll never forget Christmases with my Nan. Every Christmas morning, we’d get in the car to pick up my Great Aunt.

I could always sense the tension in my Nan. I remember asking, “Why do you invite her if you don’t enjoy her company?”

She’d always say, “I have to—she has nobody else.”

But my Great Aunt was tough. She huffed and puffed about everything. Nothing was ever good enough. It was soul-destroying for my Nan. Yet, she still did it. She felt it was her duty.

I looked up to my Nan as a hero. She was the one who always helped, no matter what. She could say, “I tried my best!” I saw it as something to aspire to—to be good enough.

But at What Cost?

Let’s be honest. When we give and give, we can end up feeling exhausted and resentful. We bury our frustration and hurt to keep the peace, but that doesn’t make it go away. It just festers inside us. It stops us from enjoying the moment. It can even make us ill.

What if There’s Another Way?

What if this Christmas, we choose to shine our own light instead? What if we realise that we’re not responsible for everyone else’s feelings—only our own?

Loving ourselves, setting healthy boundaries, and speaking up for what we need doesn’t make us selfish. It makes us strong. It sets a beautiful example for our kids too.

This Christmas, Remember This:

• You deserve to be heard and respected.

• Your worth isn’t measured by how much you give or endure.

• When you shine your light, you don’t take away from others—you inspire them to do the same.

  
  

So, mums, let’s remember our own needs this Christmas. Let’s show our children that being good enough doesn’t mean losing ourselves. It means being authentic, setting boundaries, and knowing that we are already enough.

You are worthy. You are enough. Shine your light.

Want to connect with other like-minded mums who are on the same journey?

Join MUMS SEEKING MORE—a supportive community where you can share your experiences, get encouragement, and learn to shine your light together.

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How to Stay Calm and Grounded This Christmas

Christmas is fast approaching, and with that comes family gatherings. These times can bring fun, but let’s be honest—sometimes, a comment or look from someone can hurt, and you might feel that familiar “ouch.” So, how can we get through these moments calmly and avoid getting upset or reacting in a way we regret?

Simple Ways to Stay Calm and Grounded

One way is to go into these events feeling calm and grounded, ready to protect yourself from taking on other people’s moods or opinions. But how do you actually do that? I used to soak up everyone’s emotions like a sponge. People would say, “You need to protect yourself,” and I’d think, “YES I agree, but how?”

I finally found a way that works for me, and I want to share it with you.

The “Brussels Sprout” Trick to Stop Taking Things Personally

Recently, I helped someone who needed to practise their coaching skills. We talked about a belief I had—feeling like I wasn’t clever enough. The person suggested I imagine that thought as something separate from me.

Since my dog Bella had just received a squeaky Brussels sprout toy for Christmas, I pictured my thought written on a Brussels sprout.

Then, I imagined putting that sprout into my compost bin, where it could turn into something good. That compost would help grow strong, juicy corn on the cob.

I thought about how corn has those silky, soft layers inside and the strong green leaves on the outside. Those leaves felt like a warm hug—protective but gentle. In that moment, I realised this could be my way to protect myself.

Healing Old Family Wounds with EFT Tapping

Later, in my own EFT tapping session, I worked on a painful memory. When I was about 12, my mum called me “evil” during an argument. My brother and dad didn’t disagree, so I started to wonder if it was true. That hurt stayed with me for years.

During the session, we explored what my younger self needed to hear in that moment. I imagined a kind teacher I had at the time, and she told me it wasn’t true—I wasn’t evil, and she gave me evidence of the kind things I had done. Then, I showed my younger self how to use those protective corn leaves to shield herself from my mum’s harsh words.

I felt a surge of anger towards my mum. Why would she say that if it wasn’t true? Tapping on this anger helped me see that I wasn’t bad—I was hurt and didn’t know any other way to cope other than being a stroppy teenager.

How to Protect Yourself from Hurtful Comments This Christmas

Now, when someone says something hurtful, I can imagine wrapping those corn leaves around me.

I remind myself, “I have goodness inside me, and it’s safe and protected.”

I also know that sometimes, people say hurtful things because they are dealing with their own pain.

Key Takeaway: Let Go of Old Beliefs and Find Your Inner Strength

We all carry beliefs about ourselves from past experiences—like thinking we’re not good enough or not clever enough. EFT helps you look at where those beliefs came from and let go of the hurt that’s stuck inside. Once you release it, you can choose a new belief. For me, it’s knowing that I am good inside and that I can protect that goodness.

If you’re struggling with old hurts or beliefs that hold you back, I’d love to help.

Book a Free 30 - Minute Empowerment Pathway Call with me, and let’s start your journey to healing and feeling calm and strong this Christmas.

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From People-Pleasing to Thriving: Finding the Courage to Say No

Do you ever feel like saying no is impossible?

That the moment you try, people react and question you, and you’re pulled back into the familiar cycle of people-pleasing?

For those of us who’ve spent years putting others first, stepping into a new, healthier way of being can feel overwhelming and very challenging.

As a recovering people-pleaser, I know how difficult it is to stick to your growth path. The resistance from others—who are so used to your guaranteed "yeses"—can make it even harder.

My Story: Saying No Wasn’t Easy

I remember deciding to leave a job where I didn’t feel valued. When I told them, they asked if I could come back occasionally. I replied, “I’ll see if I’m free.”

They asked again, I said, “I’ll see if I’m free.” - they finally heard me but didn't like the answer and I felt very uncomfortable.

I really wanted to say no but found it incredibly difficult to openly say that, as I was worried what they would then ask me. I thought I’d found a middle ground, but the person wasn’t happy with my answer—they were used to me saying yes.

It took a lot of tapping to get to that point. I had to work through fears, guilt, resentment and anxiety. But in that moment, I felt so proud of myself because, for once, I wasn’t putting someone else’s needs above my own.

The truth was, I wasn’t happy there. I wanted to create changes in my life where I could thrive—not just survive.

The Potato Analogy: Thriving vs. Surviving

Think of a potato stored in a dark, cold bag on the back of a shelf. Deprived of light and warmth, it grows weak, pale shoots, struggling to survive.

Now imagine that same potato placed in the light and warmth. Given the right conditions, it grows strong shoots, ready to thrive and create new life when planted in healthy soil.

When we live, prioritising others—constantly people-pleasing and saying yes to everything—we’re like that potato in the dark. We’re trying to grow but are stuck in unhealthy conditions.

But when we step into the light—by setting boundaries, clearing past beliefs, and putting ourselves first—we create the space to thrive.

Practical Steps to Start Thriving

Making these changes isn’t easy, but it’s possible.

Here are a few practical tools to help you shift from surviving to thriving:

1. Prioritise Your Time

   Break your commitments into three categories:

   • Urgent and essential

   • Nice to do if you have the time

   • Delegate or don’t do

   Seeing what’s truly necessary versus what you can let go of makes it easier to set boundaries.

   
   

2. Evaluate Relationships

   If a commitment feels one-sided, try a pros and cons list. Ask yourself:

   • What do I gain from this?

   • What does it cost me emotionally, mentally, or physically?You might discover it’s time to let something—or someone—go.

     
     

3. Work Through Your Blocks

   Notice the feelings that arise when you say no or set a boundary. Is it guilt? Fear of rejection? Tap on these emotions to release the resistance holding you back.

   
   

Imagine Thriving

Now, imagine stepping into a life where:

• You feel lighter, free of “shoulds” and “oughts.”

• You live authentically, putting your needs first without guilt.

• You have the confidence to say no and the boundaries to protect your time and energy.

This is possible when you clear the beliefs and stories keeping you stuck.

The Power of EFT

This is where EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) comes in. Through tapping, we gently uncover and heal the patterns that keep you trapped in people-pleasing.

Imagine how it would feel to:

• Stand firm in your choices without fear or guilt

• Let go of past traumas and step into your authentic self

• Live life fully, grateful for every moment

My 1-to-1 coaching sessions are designed to help you do just that. Together, we can clear the blocks standing in your way and create the life you deserve.

If you’re ready to step into the light and thrive, let’s talk. You’ve got this, and I’m here to help.

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