Fear of Public Speaking: Why you feel so afraid of being judged or getting it wrong

It makes sense on paper… but it doesn’t feel that way

In principle the thinking behind speaking in public makes sense, you are promoting your business to a wider audience, showing your authority, spreading your message. A great strategy on paper….

But in reality it can feel terrifying.

You feel sick just thinking about the upcoming event, and wonder ‘why on earth did I agree to this?’

You think - ‘I’m scared I’ll look stupid, disappoint people, and come across as chaotic’ and on top of that your chest is tight, you feel sick, and you just cant focus.

Everyone says you’ll be fine! But you don’t believe that for a second.

So what’s actually going on here?

If you’ve grown up worrying what people think of you because as a child you had experiences where you felt judged or criticised, or you got approval when you pleased people, a part of you is going to want to keep you safe by not exposing you to judgement and criticism.

Why “just be confident” doesn’t work

The mindset coaches out there would encourage you to ‘be confident’, do your super woman pose and just speak from the heart!

So telling yourself to put your big girl pants on is not going to do anything if there is a whole host of fear and anxiety running the show underneath.

I know this feeling because I’ve been there too

I remember my first time vividly. I was so fearful of public speaking. I was shaking, my mind went blank, and I ended up reading from my sheet. My heart was pounding and it felt like the longest 20 minutes.

The next time I spoke it was completely different.

Someone asked if I was nervous and I checked in with myself and realised… I actually felt excited.

So what changed?

I had tapped on all of my fears and worries, including:

• the fear that people are expecting something amazing, will I disappoint them?

• the fear of them being disappointed

• the fear of seeing all of those eyes focused on me

• the fear that my mind will go blank and I will forget what I wanted to say

• the fear that I will look an absolute idiot who doesn’t know what she is talking about

• and yes, the fear of looking like a hot sweaty mess

  
  

  

What actually helps the fear settle

You see once that fear is given a voice and we actually listen in to it, it starts to soften because it feels heard and validated.

What I have found is if you really speak to that fear and try and understand it just like you would a frightened child, then it begins to feel heard and becomes more open to reassurance.

You can then reassure the fear that you are safe, and it’s natural to be worried but actually…

This worry is sabotaging the success of your presentation.

This then brings down the intensity of the fear.The logical mind can then come back on board and you can show up as a calmer, more enthusiastic version of yourself.

The beliefs that once felt so true in our body can then be explored in a safe way, and as the intensity settles, they start to shift naturally.

This is where things start to feel different

This then makes it possible to feel more relaxed and comfortable in front of an audience, because the mind and body no longer see it as danger.

You will feel so much calmer in your body.Your thinking becomes clearer, and your passion and energy can finally come through, allowing a better connection with your audience.

You don’t have to do this on your own

If this resonates and you recognise that fear in yourself, this is exactly the kind of work I

support women with.In a 1:1 session we gently explore what’s underneath the fear and help your body feel safe enough to show up in the way you want to.

You don’t have to push through it on your own.

If you’d like to explore this together, you can find out more about working with me here.

How to release emotional triggers and feel free with EFT tapping

This morning, I was sitting in the garden, putting on sunscreen.

In an instant, the smell took me somewhere else entirely, to happy times of beach holidays, the sun warming my skin, the sound of waves lapping at the shore, the gentle rhythm of the tide carrying me into deep relaxation.

I was right there again.

How Triggers Work in the Mind and Body

Our minds are powerful.

A simple scent, sound, or taste can unlock vivid memories in seconds, because our subconscious remembers everything.

And while this can be a gift for recalling joy, it works both ways.

The same power that transports us to a happy holiday can also drag us back into sadness, fear, or anger.

Everyday Examples of Emotional Triggers

Perhaps you’ve heard raised voices in the street and suddenly felt your body tense, heart racing, as if you were back in your childhood home, listening to your parents argue just before they separated.

Or a song plays on the radio and your mood drops, because it’s the same track you listened to on the way to visit your nan in hospital.

These reactions aren’t random. They’re your body and nervous system remembering, and reacting, before your conscious mind even has time to catch up.

Release Emotional Triggers with EFT Tapping

The good news? You can change the way your body responds to those triggers.

Through approaches like EFT tapping for emotional healing, you can gently work with your subconscious to release the emotional charge from painful memories.

The memory can remain, but the grip it has on your body and emotions softens.

That yelling in the street no longer sends you into panic.

That song becomes just a song again.

It’s not about forgetting the past, it’s about freeing yourself from being pulled back there every time a trigger appears.

Because if a simple smell can bring you back to a peaceful beach, wouldn’t it be wonderful if the rest of life’s moments could feel that safe too?

Ready to Reclaim Calm and Confidence?

If you find yourself caught in old triggers and want to feel free, grounded, and confident in your business and life, EFT tapping can help you rewire your nervous system and release emotional blocks.

You don’t have to keep being pulled back into the past.

Work with me here, and take the first step towards creating a calmer, more resilient version of you. lets release emotional triggers with EFT tapping, together.

How EFT Tapping Helped Me Overcome the Fear of having another Severe Asthma Attack

Have you ever had a time when you were so ill, and really scared? Or perhaps you remember seeing a loved one struggling, and it has stuck with you vividly? Now, if signs or symptoms show up again, your head and feelings go straight back to that event?

The Night my Asthma was at its worst

When I was 21, I had a severe asthma attack that landed me in hospital for two weeks. The first night was terrifying—I was awake all night, struggling to breathe, exhausted, completely panicked. That memory stuck with me so vividly, like it was burned into my mind.

After that, every time my asthma flared up, fear took over. I couldn’t shake the worry—what if it happens again? The more anxious I became, the worse my asthma felt. I quickly realised that IF I could calm my mind, my breathing would ease—just a little, but enough to make a difference.

Then came COVID. The thought of struggling to breathe again sent me into full panic mode. I was scared that if I caught it, I would likely spend a similar night, fighting for air.

After that hospital experience, I was given an action plan. If my peak flow (a forced breath into a device) got lower than a certain number, I had to go to casualty. So, cue asthma kicking in, watching my peak flow get lower and lower, anxiety started to build, and hey presto, my number went down even more. As soon as I calmed my anxiety, the number popped back up a little. You know what happens to your breathing on a normal day when anxious—so adding asthma is not a good combination.

How EFT helped

The following year, I discovered EFT tapping—and everything changed.

I tapped through that night in hospital, moment by moment, until the fear dissolved. I processed the memories that had been stuck on repeat:

• Mum phoning me at home, and I couldn’t get the words out.

• Her rushing me to casualty, dropping me off at the entrance, by a bin for me to be sick in while she parked the car.

• Lying in the hospital bed, asking a nurse to sit with me because I felt scared, but she couldn’t understand my words due to my lack of breath.

• 5am—calling the doctor for a third time that night, then feeling the incredible pain as they injected medicine straight into my arm. And then… I could breathe a bit easier.

  
  

The impact EFT has had

Now that the fear has gone, I am able to think logically, take the right action steps rather than feeling paralysed with worry and not really helping myself.

Now, when I think back, it feels distant—like a faded memory rather than something I’m reliving. The emotional charge is gone.

Events can stick with us like chewing gum on our shoes—feeling impossible to get rid of, but with tapping, we don’t just manage the fear; we release it. Just like I did.

If a past experience still has a hold on you, making you anxious, fearful, or stuck—know that it doesn’t have to stay that way.

EFT tapping can help you break free, just like it did for me.

If you’d like to explore how tapping could help you, I’d love to support you.

Click on the link below to arrange a free chat.

Arrange a free call with me