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Gingerbread House
Gingerbread House

I was living our dream life. My two daughters were thriving at school, and I cherished being an integral part of their lives.

From supporting them backstage in school plays to cheering them on at netball matches and baking gingerbread houses before Christmas, I loved every moment of motherhood.

As they grew older, I treasured our learning to drive practice sessions, which gave us precious time to chat.

Charity Mud Race Myself and my daughters
Charity Mud Race Myself and my daughters

BUT, I hadn't prepared myself for the heartache that came when my eldest was preparing to go to university.

The thought of not seeing her every day, knowing she would lead an independent life, left me tearful and heartbroken. The impending change felt like an abrupt end to a beloved chapter of my life, and I felt redundant.

Coping with Empty Nest Syndrome

With both my daughters seeking independence and the empty nest fast approaching, I realised I had to confront the looming void. I had always put everyone else's needs first, but now, I faced the daunting question:

What was my purpose now?

My confidence plummeted, and I felt of little value to the world. This, coupled with perimenopausal symptoms, left me tearful and lost.

Finding New Purpose After Motherhood

One day, overwhelmed by these feelings, I decided enough was enough. I recognised that my emotional baggage and limiting beliefs were holding me back. I needed a change. I loved being in nature and supporting others, so I began exploring ways to combine these passions.

A few friends mentioned EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping, which I initially dismissed as odd. But curiosity led me to take a short course on Udemy, followed by a 5-day in person practitioner course.

Something inside me knew this was the right step forward.

The Transformative Power of EFT Tapping

The course was transformative. I quickly realised that before I could help others, I needed to work on my own emotional rucksack. I sought support and gradually unpacked the past events that had held me back. As I healed, I felt ready to begin my business, confident in the power of EFT.

Now, I have choices. I can pause, reflect, and prioritise my needs. I feel a new sense of freedom and calm, with a future full of possibilities.

Myself and my daughters preparing to do a Parachute Jump
Myself and my daughters preparing to do a Parachute Jump

Preparing for Life Beyond the Empty Nest

To all the mothers out there, whether your children are still at home or preparing to leave the nest, I urge you to think about your future. What will you do when they become more independent? How can you begin to prepare yourself now?

You might already feel the weight of an emotional rucksack, affecting your happiness and appreciation for the present.

You may have tried many things and feel stuck, but there is a different way. You can choose how to live your life, rather than reacting to it.

I've created a Free Journaling workbook to help you understand what's happening in your life, identify what's working and what's not, and take baby steps toward where you want to be. It’s designed to help you turn things around and embrace a life of freedom and choice.

Let’s embark on this journey together. There is a fulfilling life beyond motherhood, and it starts with taking the first step.

Lavender field

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Have you ever found yourself repeating affirmations but seeing no change?

It can be frustrating, especially when you genuinely want to transform your mindset and achieve your goals.

The reason behind this common struggle is often rooted in deep-seated beliefs that block your progress.

Think of your mind like an iceberg: the small part above the water represents your conscious mind, which wants to believe the positive affirmation. However, the much larger part below the water, your subconscious mind, may not agree and can sabotage your progress.

These subconscious beliefs make it feel unsafe to truly accept and believe in your affirmations.

Understanding Resistance to Affirmations

Let's dive into an example. Imagine you repeat the affirmation, "I am successful."

However, instead of feeling empowered, you hear a nagging voice saying, "Yes, but you will never amount to anything." This voice might echo a memory, like a harsh comment from a teacher.

These responses and physical reactions—like a churning stomach or tight shoulders—are messages from your body signalling why the affirmation doesn't feel true to you.

Listen to Your Body and Self-Talk

The first step to overcoming this resistance is to pay attention to these signals. Your body and mind are trying to communicate why they don’t believe the affirmation. Here’s how you can start:

  1. Identify the Affirmation: Choose an affirmation you wish to believe, such as “I am successful.”

  2. Notice the Reactions: Say the affirmation out loud and observe any “yes, but” thoughts or physical sensations. These are clues to your unconscious resistance.

  3. Acknowledge the Source of Negative Self-Talk: Recognise the source of these reactions. For instance, if you remember a teacher’s negative comment, understand that in that moment you made that mean something about you or your environment, it became your belief.

Clearing Emotional Blocks with EFT Tapping

Once you identify these blocks and beliefs, you can begin to clear them.

One effective method is tapping (also known as EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques). This technique involves tapping on specific points on your body while focusing on the negative belief or sensation.

By doing this, you can release the emotional charge associated with these memories and beliefs.

Reinforce Positive Affirmations Without Resistance

After addressing and clearing these blocks, you can reintroduce your affirmations.

Without the resistance, you’ll find that your affirmations feel more believable and start to create the positive change you desire.

It’s a transformative process that enables you to align your conscious desires with your subconscious beliefs.

Embrace Personal Transformation and Growth

Transformation is within your reach. By listening to your body and addressing the resistance, you pave the way for your affirmations to become a powerful tool for change.

Remember, the journey to self-belief and success is ongoing, but every step you take brings you closer to unlocking your full potential.

Next Steps in your Personal Growth

Ready to dive deeper?

Download my free workbook, "Pause, Reflect and Realign" which helps you explore your current life, see what you truly want, and guides you to take baby steps towards achieving it.

Start your journey today and overcome the resistance holding you back.

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I remember once talking to a friend and saying, "I understand the drama triangle—Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer—and I want to get out of it, but how?" That dear friend had the answer—this book!!! 

I've read The Power of TED many times because every now and again, I need a gentle reminder to get back on track. 

This book teaches us that we have a choice. We can choose to stay in the Dreaded Drama Triangle where we feel persecuted by events, people, and circumstances, making us feel like victims—stuck and out of control. A friend might come along, or maybe some chocolate or a glass of wine, to take the pain away for a bit, but it doesn't really change anything. 

Or we can choose a new way. 

The antidote is The Empowerment Dynamic. Here, the Victim becomes the Creator, the Persecutor becomes the Challenger, and the Rescuer becomes the Coach. 

David Emerald explains each new role and how we can shift our perspective about life. We are the Creators of our lives, meaning we have a choice in how we respond. It's about exploring what we can learn from a situation, figuring out what we want and need, and choosing our next baby step that will take us there. 

I recommend this book to anyone on a growth and healing journey who wants to shift their perspective to a more empowered stance. It's an easy read, told as a story with characters learning the antidote to the Dreaded Drama Triangle. 

Additionally, I have a free journaling workbook that really complements the ethos of this book. It helps you explore where you are right now, where you want to be, and the baby steps you can take to get to your perfect day. If you would like a copy click here.


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