Left a stressful job to start your business? Why your old boss might still be holding you back
You've set up your business and left the 9–5 workplace behind. Part of you might be totally relieved that now you can make all the decisions, do it your way, and not be held back by all the power dynamics and office politics, but another part of you may be surprised when not everything feels as easy as you thought it should.
Maybe it was constant criticism, being made to feel small in front of your peers, them taking credit for your ideas, or tiptoeing around their moods.
So the bit to consider is, how did you respond to it? Did you feel stressed or anxious, and what did you make it mean about you, because we can’t change other people, we can only change our response to them.
Why the stress stays in your body after you leave the job
Often it isn’t one big thing that happens in a workplace, it’s a pattern of many small events that you learn to adapt around to cope and feel safer. Your mind and body learn what they need to do to protect you the best they can, so they tell you to stay quiet, avoid confrontation, get everything perfect, don’t draw attention to yourself, don’t make mistakes and don’t give anyone a reason to criticise you.
But your body continues that strategy even when you have left, because it’s like you are stuck on a scratched record, and until you fully process what happened and how you felt about that, it could stay there underneath the surface.
How it shows up as procrastination and overthinking in your business
Years later, when you're running your own business, pressing publish on a post or launching an offer can unknowingly trigger those same protection patterns. On the surface it looks like procrastination, like stalling and overthinking and putting it off until another day when you feel more ready.
You may worry that what you are going to promote isn't good enough yet, so you may put off pressing send, hearing their judgement in your head and it still creating the same stress in your body even though you are away from them now, not trusting your own capabilities, doubting your own decisions, overworking and overdelivering for fear of judgement.
You start questioning your ability, whether you're cut out for this, even whether you're capable of making your business work, but underneath those thoughts may be a scared part of you that learned, years ago, it wasn't safe to get things wrong, so now it's doing everything it can to stop you ever being bullied, criticised or made to feel not good enough again.
My story: when saying no felt wrong
I left a job where I felt my skills were not fully respected or valued. I also felt that if I said no to anything extra it wasn't respected, and I was encouraged to change my mind, which felt a bit manipulative. When I realised how much I was saying yes to extra tasks outside of my hours and decided to put some boundaries in place, it became uncomfortable and internally I responded by feeling guilty and bad.
That feeling followed me into my business, where I was extra aware of sceptics around EFT, because it felt like my skills weren't being valued all over again, and I felt quite anxious and lost my confidence around them.
It took some tapping to really support me and clear these beliefs and emotions.
How EFT tapping helped my client press send
In our session together we traced it back to a stressful job in the corporate world, where her boss had been a bully, and years of being knocked down, criticised, isolated and made to feel like her best was never good enough had left their mark. She was anxious because she never knew what her boss would do next, so she was walking on eggshells, scared of failure, she felt like she had no control, and felt scared.
When we tapped on those memories some anger came up, around not deserving to be treated that way, and then something shifted. The fear of going in blind, of losing control, of being criticised again… it started to lose its grip.
The next time I saw her she told me she'd pressed send, and she's now out there promoting her workshop.
What changes when the old stress clears
When you clear the previously unprocessed emotional load, your body can remember the events but stay feeling calm and safe, and from this place new perspectives can be seen. We still remember what happened, but it no longer feels unsafe.
Free EFT tapping video for when you don't know where to start
Have you tried EFT tapping? If you are curious and would like to experience it I have a free tapping video for those moments when you sit down to work and you just don't know where to start, because you feel anxious as a result of your long to-do list.
If you know you love EFT tapping and want some support with getting unstuck in your business when you know it's not a strategy problem then click HERE to arrange a free chat
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