Christmas is fast approaching, and with that comes family gatherings. These times can bring fun, but let’s be honest—sometimes, a comment or look from someone can hurt, and you might feel that familiar “ouch.” So, how can we get through these moments calmly and avoid getting upset or reacting in a way we regret?
Simple Ways to Stay Calm and Grounded
One way is to go into these events feeling calm and grounded, ready to protect yourself from taking on other people’s moods or opinions. But how do you actually do that? I used to soak up everyone’s emotions like a sponge. People would say, “You need to protect yourself,” and I’d think, “YES I agree, but how?”
I finally found a way that works for me, and I want to share it with you.
The “Brussels Sprout” Trick to Stop Taking Things Personally
Recently, I helped someone who needed to practise their coaching skills. We talked about a belief I had—feeling like I wasn’t clever enough. The person suggested I imagine that thought as something separate from me.
Since my dog Bella had just received a squeaky Brussels sprout toy for Christmas, I pictured my thought written on a Brussels sprout.
Then, I imagined putting that sprout into my compost bin, where it could turn into something good. That compost would help grow strong, juicy corn on the cob.
I thought about how corn has those silky, soft layers inside and the strong green leaves on the outside. Those leaves felt like a warm hug—protective but gentle. In that moment, I realised this could be my way to protect myself.
Healing Old Family Wounds with EFT Tapping
Later, in my own EFT tapping session, I worked on a painful memory. When I was about 12, my mum called me “evil” during an argument. My brother and dad didn’t disagree, so I started to wonder if it was true. That hurt stayed with me for years.
During the session, we explored what my younger self needed to hear in that moment. I imagined a kind teacher I had at the time, and she told me it wasn’t true—I wasn’t evil, and she gave me evidence of the kind things I had done. Then, I showed my younger self how to use those protective corn leaves to shield herself from my mum’s harsh words.
I felt a surge of anger towards my mum. Why would she say that if it wasn’t true? Tapping on this anger helped me see that I wasn’t bad—I was hurt and didn’t know any other way to cope other than being a stroppy teenager.
How to Protect Yourself from Hurtful Comments This Christmas
Now, when someone says something hurtful, I can imagine wrapping those corn leaves around me.
I remind myself, “I have goodness inside me, and it’s safe and protected.”
I also know that sometimes, people say hurtful things because they are dealing with their own pain.
Key Takeaway: Let Go of Old Beliefs and Find Your Inner Strength
We all carry beliefs about ourselves from past experiences—like thinking we’re not good enough or not clever enough. EFT helps you look at where those beliefs came from and let go of the hurt that’s stuck inside. Once you release it, you can choose a new belief. For me, it’s knowing that I am good inside and that I can protect that goodness.
If you’re struggling with old hurts or beliefs that hold you back, I’d love to help.
Book a taster EFT session with me, and let’s start your journey to healing and feeling calm and strong this Christmas.
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