My journey into the world of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) began over 15 years ago. Back in 2006, I started training to become a counsellor, hoping to heal my own issues along the way. I grew up in a family where everything seemed to rotate around my mum’s moods. Everything had to be about her, and I often felt like I was walking on eggshells, never knowing what might set her off. It left me feeling like I just didn’t matter to her. As a result, I grew up to be an anxious, quiet child, always trying to keep out of her way.
I couldn’t wait to leave home; I thought I was finally free. I met a man who I thought would be able to give me the love that I hadn’t received from my mum, only to find myself in another emotionally suffocating relationship. It was like falling out of the fire and into the frying pan. I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship. My husband, when he showed his true colours, seemed even more angry and aggressive than my mum. He would be so angry at me even when it was out of my control. For instance, I was on a train coming home from London one evening, and the train ended up being several hours late. He picked me up from the station and was incredibly angry with me—yet really, there was nothing I could have done; we didn’t have mobile phones back then. In those six years of marriage, I felt more isolated and small than ever before. His anger crushed my sense of self, leaving me terrified to make even the smallest mistake.
After six years, I knew I couldn’t stay with him any more, and although I didn’t know how I would ever have the confidence to leave, I started to secretly pack so that one day when I could do it, I would be ready. That day eventually came, and with the help of my dad sitting outside in the car to help me feel protected, I managed to leave him, and my growth journey began.
Growing up, my family didn’t talk about emotions. We buried everything under the surface, never fully addressing what was really going on. When I learned that, in order to complete the qualification, we all had to attend 30 hours of personal counselling, I thought, "I can do this without breaking the family rule.”
At that time, trauma and the nervous system weren’t as well understood as they are today. When I was triggered in those sessions, I often entered a freeze response, feeling unable to move forward. My brain simply couldn’t process the emotions from that place, and it left me convinced that I was stupid and couldn’t work out the answers.
Pausing and Searching for Answers
Even after completing my training, I felt too fearful to set up my own private practice. The fear of failure loomed large, so instead, I continued to volunteer for a few more years. But eventually, I stopped altogether. During this time, I took a long break, but I never stopped searching for answers. I read self-help books, counselling books, and anything I thought might help me heal, but nothing quite hit the spot.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) aka tapping
Then, one day, a friend of mine, Jo, suggested I look into Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). I had never heard of it before, and initially thought it sounded a bit odd—how on earth could that help me? However, I looked into it and was curious enough to sign up for a course. From the very first session, I was absolutely hooked.
Finding Emotional Freedom
For the first time in my life, I felt something shift inside me. EFT wasn’t like anything I had tried before. It wasn’t just about talking or digging up old emotions—it was about releasing them in a way that felt safe and healing.
I felt hopeful, truly hopeful, that I could finally work through my stuff and find emotional freedom. EFT gave me the tools I needed to process years of buried emotions without feeling stuck or overwhelmed. I finally had this sense of safety and boundaries that allowed me to find my voice, speak up for myself, voice my needs, and say no if I chose to. This was such a relief. To know that my needs count too was such a powerful shift in my beliefs.
Now I can feel the difference as I live my life. I am able to speak in public without physically shaking, I have grown my business, and I face my fears with intrigue rather than the freeze response.
To hear more about my journey and insights on EFT, check out my interview on the Good Enough Counsellors podcast with Josephine Hughes. Click on the image to listen.
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