Do you ever feel like saying no is impossible?
That the moment you try, people react and question you, and you’re pulled back into the familiar cycle of people-pleasing?
For those of us who’ve spent years putting others first, stepping into a new, healthier way of being can feel overwhelming and very challenging.
As a recovering people-pleaser, I know how difficult it is to stick to your growth path. The resistance from others—who are so used to your guaranteed "yeses"—can make it even harder.
My Story: Saying No Wasn’t Easy
I remember deciding to leave a job where I didn’t feel valued. When I told them, they asked if I could come back occasionally. I replied, “I’ll see if I’m free.”
They asked again, I said, “I’ll see if I’m free.” - they finally heard me but didn't like the answer and I felt very uncomfortable.
I really wanted to say no but found it incredibly difficult to openly say that, as I was worried what they would then ask me. I thought I’d found a middle ground, but the person wasn’t happy with my answer—they were used to me saying yes.
It took a lot of tapping to get to that point. I had to work through fears, guilt, resentment and anxiety. But in that moment, I felt so proud of myself because, for once, I wasn’t putting someone else’s needs above my own.
The truth was, I wasn’t happy there. I wanted to create changes in my life where I could thrive—not just survive.
The Potato Analogy: Thriving vs. Surviving
Think of a potato stored in a dark, cold bag on the back of a shelf. Deprived of light and warmth, it grows weak, pale shoots, struggling to survive.
Now imagine that same potato placed in the light and warmth. Given the right conditions, it grows strong shoots, ready to thrive and create new life when planted in healthy soil.
When we live, prioritising others—constantly people-pleasing and saying yes to everything—we’re like that potato in the dark. We’re trying to grow but are stuck in unhealthy conditions.
But when we step into the light—by setting boundaries, clearing past beliefs, and putting ourselves first—we create the space to thrive.
Practical Steps to Start Thriving
Making these changes isn’t easy, but it’s possible.
Here are a few practical tools to help you shift from surviving to thriving:
Prioritise Your Time
Break your commitments into three categories:
Urgent and essential
Nice to do if you have the time
Delegate or don’t do
Seeing what’s truly necessary versus what you can let go of makes it easier to set boundaries.
Evaluate Relationships
If a commitment feels one-sided, try a pros and cons list. Ask yourself:
What do I gain from this?
What does it cost me emotionally, mentally, or physically?You might discover it’s time to let something—or someone—go.
Work Through Your Blocks
Notice the feelings that arise when you say no or set a boundary. Is it guilt? Fear of rejection? Tap on these emotions to release the resistance holding you back.
Imagine Thriving
Now, imagine stepping into a life where:
You feel lighter, free of “shoulds” and “oughts.”
You live authentically, putting your needs first without guilt.
You have the confidence to say no and the boundaries to protect your time and energy.
This is possible when you clear the beliefs and stories keeping you stuck.
The Power of EFT
This is where EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) comes in. Through tapping, we gently uncover and heal the patterns that keep you trapped in people-pleasing.
Imagine how it would feel to:
Stand firm in your choices without fear or guilt
Let go of past traumas and step into your authentic self
Live life fully, grateful for every moment
My 1-to-1 coaching sessions are designed to help you do just that. Together, we can clear the blocks standing in your way and create the life you deserve.
If you’re ready to step into the light and thrive, let’s talk. You’ve got this, and I’m here to help.
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