Stuck in victim mode? There must be another way!!!

I remember once talking to a friend and saying, "I understand the drama triangle—Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer—and I want to get out of it, but how?" That dear friend had the answer—this book!!! 

I've read The Power of TED many times because every now and again, I need a gentle reminder to get back on track. 

This book teaches us that we have a choice. We can choose to stay in the Dreaded Drama Triangle where we feel persecuted by events, people, and circumstances, making us feel like victims—stuck and out of control. A friend might come along, or maybe some chocolate or a glass of wine, to take the pain away for a bit, but it doesn't really change anything. 

Or we can choose a new way. 

The antidote is The Empowerment Dynamic. Here, the Victim becomes the Creator, the Persecutor becomes the Challenger, and the Rescuer becomes the Coach. 

David Emerald explains each new role and how we can shift our perspective about life. We are the Creators of our lives, meaning we have a choice in how we respond. It's about exploring what we can learn from a situation, figuring out what we want and need, and choosing our next baby step that will take us there. 

I recommend this book to anyone on a growth and healing journey who wants to shift their perspective to a more empowered stance. It's an easy read, told as a story with characters learning the antidote to the Dreaded Drama Triangle. 

Additionally, I have a free journaling workbook that really complements the ethos of this book. It helps you explore where you are right now, where you want to be, and the baby steps you can take to get to your perfect day. If you would like a copy click here.

Get the FREE Workbook

From Rock Bottom to Renewal:My Journey with Emotional Freedom Techniques aka EFT tapping.

Have you ever felt like you don't belong, like you're trapped in a cycle you can't break free from? I know that feeling all too well.

From a difficult childhood where I felt like the odd one out, to a toxic and abusive relationship that left me a shell of myself, my journey has been full of challenges. But it was through these difficulties that I discovered Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), a transformative practice that changed my life.

Join me as I share my story of overcoming these obstacles, finding my true self, and ultimately, helping others do the same.

Early Struggles and Feeling Out of Place

Growing up, I often felt like the odd one out in my family. My relationship with my mum was cold and distant, and I struggled to feel a sense of belonging. My mum seemed to favour my brother, and it felt like I was always the one to blame when things went wrong. This lack of connection and support left a void in my life, making me eager to leave home as soon as I could.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

I was unhappy and desperate for love. So, when a man showed any interest in me, I quickly fell head over heels, grateful to feel loved and appreciated for the first time. When I finally did leave home, I got married and quickly, the relationship turned verbally and emotionally abusive. I became a shell of myself—lacking confidence, self-belief, and a true sense of identity. I felt trapped and unable to see a way out.

Finding the Courage to Leave and Becoming a Counsellor

It took immense courage and strength to leave that toxic environment. The process of rebuilding my life was daunting, but I knew it was necessary. I had to rediscover who I was and what I wanted out of life. Slowly but surely, I began to regain my confidence and sense of self.

After leaving him, I trained to become a counsellor. My main objective was to heal myself. I believed there was an unspoken family rule that we don't talk about our problems; we just smile and carry on. So, in a strange way, even though I was now an adult, I found it really difficult to simply go to counselling myself. Instead, I took the indirect route, thinking I could justify it by saying, "Well, I had to have counselling myself in order to qualify."

Volunteering and Counselling Work

I became a volunteer at Victim Support for a few years, where I supported a family whose loved one had been murdered and also women who had been raped. Additionally, I worked as a counsellor at a women's refuge, helping women understand their patterns so they could find healthy relationships in the future. This work was incredibly rewarding, but I found that traditional counselling had a missing link that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Searching for the Missing Link

Due to a bereavement, I took a break from counselling and found that I just didn't go back. However, I was still searching for the missing link to heal my own issues.

The Turning Point: Discovering EFT

Years later, when my children grew up and no longer needed me as much, I found myself feeling lost once again. The sense of purpose that came with being a full time mum had diminished, and I was left questioning my place in the world. It was during this time of uncertainty that I discovered Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

EFT became a pivotal part of my healing journey. It helped me process my emotions, release past traumas, and regain control over my life. Gradually it started to feel safe to break down my protective armour. Through EFT, I found a renewed sense of purpose and a deeper appreciation for life’s possibilities. It allowed me to reconnect with my true self and embrace my unique qualities.

Helping Others on Their Journey

My transformation inspired me to help others who might be going through similar struggles. If you’re feeling lost, stuck, or struggling to voice your needs, I’m here to support you.

Together, we can compassionately understand the limiting beliefs that have been holding you back and using EFT, we can neutralise their power and create new healthy beliefs.

Let’s have a conversation to see if I can be the right person to support you on your journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Reach out to me today and take the first step towards a brighter, more fulfilling future.

If you would like to work on some of your feelings and worries and would like to give EFT a try send me a message at www.katie@katieseftcoaching.com and we can arrange a free EFT taster session.

Pause, Reflect And Realign - Journal Prompts For Midlife Mums.

Tomato seeds come with instructions.

I love growing vegetables, and there is something deeply satisfying about planting seeds in March and watching them sprout on my dining table. I regularly go and check on them, ensuring they have enough water, and light. As they outgrow their seed tray I pot them on to larger pots until they are ready to go into their final position in the greenhouse. From here, I support them with canes as they grow taller and stronger. When the fruit starts to show, I feed them regularly, hoping to gain a good crop of juicy tomatoes.

Sometimes, however, life gets busy, and I forget about my seedlings. When I remember and check on them, they look sorry for themselves, I regret not consistently caring for them, I try and take remedial action to repair the damage, and watch with bated breath to see if I acted in time.

As Mums, We Often Put Our Own Needs Last

When I was in full mum mode, I focused on everyone else’s needs and inadvertently put my own emotional well-being on the back burner. Ignoring my feelings and neglecting self-care left me feeling depleted and wondering how I got there.

Discovering EFT tapping transformed my approach. Now, I'm better at recognising my emotions and self-talk, addressing issues promptly before they escalate.

Yet, this journey required practice and focus to turn it into a healthy habit. Like all skills, it takes time to pause and tune into ourselves, asking, "What do I need right now?"

So, Where Are You On This Journey?

Do you regularly check in with yourself, acknowledging your feelings and worries? Are past experiences still weighing you down? Perhaps you ask yourself what is holding you back from being your best self right now?

Once you have the answers, EFT tapping is an amazing tool to clear the emotions and beliefs that aren’t serving you, making your future seem a bit easier to handle.

If you would like guidance and journal prompts to delve deeper and gain clarity about your present circumstances and what you would like moving forward, then I have something for you.

Claim your free journal workbook designed to help you navigate life's challenges with clarity and confidence.

Click Here To Get Started

Together, let's cultivate a happier, healthier future.

If you would like to work on some of your feelings and worries and would like to give EFT a try send me a message at www.Katie@katieseftcoaching.com and we can arrange a free EFT taster session.